活在當下

01 August 2005

分裂

我常常逼自己做呢樣果樣,人格分裂如同訓導老師對學生,一人飾演兩角。

例如明明已失去熱情,但仍然逼自己一定要放個心落去做好那件事,不許但求有貨可交便算(前提是那件事已有待完成,或某事非做不可)。

明明不喜歡一個人,但因覺純屬個人偏見,故要求自己脫下有色眼鏡,論斷務須公允,務必能因賞人家長處(其實不喜歡一個人有何不妥)。

做一件事情,自覺未如理想,人家未責難,先自心虛,卻又無補於事。

覺得自己真夠無聊,腦袋轉數又不是特高,專心做好正經事才是上算,卻為自己屢添關卡,專與自己過不去。

自我檢討原有益健康,但過猶不及,此刻我花這幾分鐘寫這麼篇自嘲文字,咪又係典型例子。無得救。

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

我跟你好相似呢, 我是一個對自己很有要求的人,不需要做足100分,但我要求自己要做到average 或者 above average, 即係有80分甚至90分。好多時都俾好大壓力自己。但做得唔好,會好唔開心。
好彩呢一套只係對自己,我對人反而無咁高要求,合格就ok。好彩係咁,如果唔係就大wok 喇~
-雪人

Ruth Tam said...

I am not demanding, both with myself and others. Pass is okay. However, to get a pass safely, I always prepare for 80 to 90 so that even if my condition is not good, I still pass.

Anonymous said...

Same here.. I always tell myself to be objective so that I am not prejudice against anyone.

I like pressure... I try to steer clear of bringing any emotion to work, so called "professional"...

As long as you are happy with your current status, don't really have to care too much.

- 飛鳥

lamkiuwai said...

「不必追求優秀,但可以做到良好」

Anonymous said...

這是自我控制同責任問題, 我還是覺得你是對的. 我就沒有辦法迫自己不偏見不喜歡的人. 實在太難....